A fellow was opening a new wine bar bistro and wanted a pianist to play background music for his select clientele. He interviewed mediocre to poor pianists and was about to give up hope when a tramp came in a said he could do the job. The owner sneered at him at said "well give it your best shot".
The tramp sat down and played a piece of music so sweet the owner was reduced to tears. "where did that song come from, who wrote it, what is it called?"
The tramp said "I wrote it, I've written hundreds, it's called 'I f*cked your mother up the *rse and she loved it'." The owner was taken aback but still asked him to play more of his repertoire. These included 'You sh*t in my mouth on Christmas Day', 'My boll*cks ache from w*nking', 'Can I c*m over your t*ts tonight?', 'Peter sh*gged a puppy then a cat'.
"You are hired" said the owner, "On one condition you never ever introduce your songs and you leave my guests alone."
Done deal.
The pianists fame spread far and wide, people came from all over the country to hear this sweet music, the bar did very very well.
One evening the pianist took his break and whilst in the toilette decided to knock one out. Returning to his piano a lady stopped him and said "young man, do you know you knob is hanging out of your trousers and it is dripping with c*m?"
"Know it lady?" He replied "I f*cking wrote it."
I know, I was that man.
Joking of course
Stay healthy, keep safe and be lucky my friends.
Ade